Another addition from Lovecrafts Other Ball
“He’s a foul Smelling brute” she heard mother sob..
“He’s fat, unattractive and can’t hold a Job
Your marriage to him was surely a curse.
I must say for a husband you couldn’t do worse
“You just don’t know the real him. “ Helga Sighed
“He has a saving grace that fills me with pride
All men curse, smoke, and beat on their wives
Bereft of all morals, they lead riggish lives.
And when it comes to micturition and relief
Most sully their homes, like some hoggish thief
Among their porcine deeds, surely the worst
To piss in the sink, without clearing it first
Refrain
Take the dishes out first, take the dishes out first
Any man who doesn’t is surely the worst
A man that would sully his own kitchen sink
And piss on the glass he just used to drink
Or spritz on his plate, or whiz on his spoon
Is surely one low born sickening goon
Yester eve my husband left at seven for a wee drink
Came stumbling in at two, my God, he did stink
Slogged out to the kitchen, an undid his pants
But suddenly stopped and started to dance.
Refrain
He reached into the sink and pulled out a glass
Then removed all the plates from this eve’s repast
And set them all on the counter with care
Until the sink had been made totally bare.
Then he stepped up to the ceremonial vessel
And with his buttoned up fly he started to wrestle
As he freed his wee willy his eyes started to twinkle
I heard him moan with joy as he started to tinkle
And so dear mother I say with a haughty joy
When next you speak of my plump golden boy
Remember how he went to best from worst
When my gentleman hubby took the dishes out first
Refrain
