Category: my poetry

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The Perfect Woman

I never put down the toilet seat
Never have to share when er’e I eat
She never complains when I cheat
I have the perfect woman

No matter what, she never calls the cops
Even with a right hook across the chops
Always ready when I want the top
I have the perfect woman

Never screams when I stay out late
Don’t need to worry about her weight
Just now and then I need to inflate
I have the perfect woman

Does no work- she’s just a lump
She sometimes need the tire pump
And lots of lube when we hump
I have a blow up woman

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Her Response to “A Father’s Wisdom”

Far
You want me to go far
With the costume you chose
Guided by your star

Dreams
I have my own dreams
Not being torn up
by your multiphalliced fantasies

In my bed and in my mind
I want something up your butt
In my head and in good time
I want something up your butt

Holes
You want to tear mine apart
Show me that hentai and then we start?
What the fuck’s wrong with you?

Holes
You have some of your own
They’re not a no entry zone
So, buddy, get a clue.

In my bed and in my mind
I want something up your butt
In my head and in good time
I want something up your butt

You got needs, I got mine
I want something up your butt.
Quid pro quo at all times
I want something up your butt
Right now

You want the suit, but you won’t go
that far for me?
For me?

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A Father’s Wisdom

Word of note. This is my homage to tentacle hentai

My father taught me well
as he lecture me on life
He spoke of many things
on finding the right wife

“Don’t listen to their words
people will always lie.
She’ll tell you she is open
giving everything a a try.”

“Sure, she is very willing
to try shackles and whips,
Even hacking and smacking
or hot wax on the nips

“She’ll even shank before
the neighbors on your lawn
But you don’t know how far ’til
the octopus suits on.”

I was puzzled at first
not knowing what to think of this
Until a cartoon threw me one day
into the abyss

It came from Japan
claimed to be tentacle porn
Definitely not for the weak,
On this I’ll forewarn.

In horror I watched
a creature with multiple dongs
attack the drawn heroine
in ways really wrong.

Some slongs were like rope
that bound her real tight
While his strikes could continue
without much of a fight.

An alien? A mollusc?
I don’t really know
what appendaged thing
savaged all of her holes

I should have turned
but felt a sick need to keep watching
then after the scene
I felt the need to start washing

I never did ask my father
how he knew of this shit
or was it something left over
from his once Navy stint?

His words will stay in my head
though he is long gone
“But you don’t know how far ’til
the octopus suits on.”

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And for this I am Grateful

Gathered here on Turkey Day
Family here from far away
We won’t mention Joe’s conviction
as father prays benediction.
How can uncle be at large
with the gravity of that charge?

But it’s not me and for that I am grateful.

And there is sister Betty Lou
Whose love life is always a taboo
Beside her sits step brother Mitch
Whose life time partner is the biggest bitch
Aunt Fay, the dear, was in a crash.
And Bob was swindled out of his cash

But it’s not me and for that I am grateful.

Great Uncle Pat wears at his side
A colostomy bag worn cockeyed
So oozes brown and with foul smell
While 8 year old little grandson Mel
Is forced to endure the horrid stench
As he is made to share Pat’s stinky bench

But it’s not me and for that I am grateful.

Hoping this day will quickly pass
We pray while staring at poultry ass
For in the center of our great feast
is the traditional stuffed, roasted beast
celebrating this glad day spread wide
With non bird things crammed deep inside

But it’s not me and for that I am grateful.

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For Shame

Come and pet my pussy
my pussy
my pussy
Come and pet my pussy
You know its been declawed
Warm and soft my pussy
my pussy
my pussy
Warm and soft my pussy
You know you’ll have a ball

Sleek and brown my pussy
my pussy
my pussy
Sleek and brown my pussy
Stroke her and she purrs
Sleek and brown my pussy
my pussy
my pussy
Sleek and brown my pussy
Don’t think what it infers

I love my little pussy
She really is a cat
All of you are shameful pervs
if you think her more than that

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Down at Chuck’s

Being a buck
I tried my luck
I went down to Chuck’s
He has a fancy stable

“You’re out of luck.”
I heard from Chuck
“All that’s left- a duck.
I’ll put it on the table.”

“You give me a duck
when I need to fuck?
This really sucks
How will I be able?”

“Your firetruck
can run amuck,”
Replied friend Chuck
“Don’t think you’re unable.”

“I’m not a cluck!
It’s still a duck!
What if I get stuck
and my life become a fable?

As all will gawk
then start to mock
This bird on my cock
They’re say that I’m unstable.”

“They’re be no squawk.”
was Chuck’s sweet talk
“Go use your cock.
No one to see or label.”

So I took the duck
And, yes, did fuck.
I was thunderstruck
afterwards was grateful.

I had few bucks
when next I saw Chuck
not enough for a duck
So asked for whatever able

“With so few bucks,”
added friend Chuck,
“We go with the schmucks
who view hooked-up cable.”

The schmucks took stock
as a man in socks
was shoving his cock
Into an uncut bagel

I was so struck
to see this fuck
use a doughy puck.
What could be more watchable?

Then one of the flock
claimed he once had more luck
when here saw a man and a duck
I smashed chuck with a table.

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The Pet

I really went down a dark road on this one, so apologies if anyone is out there

Born on this world of life
Born in this world of strife
I asked my parents for a pet
They always said, “Not just yet!”

Grew up without a dog
Grew up without a cat
Until one day I threw a fit
So they brought me home a lump of shit

It’s the perfect toy
for every girl and boy
I really do enjoy it
My Lump of shit

There at show and tell
There they disliked the smell
But I didn’t care- it was all mine
I’d keep it with me all the time

Now when I get depressed
Now when I feel upset
I look at it upon the self
It always reminds me of myself

It’s the perfect toy
for every girl and boy
I really do enjoy it
My Lump of shit

My Lump of shit

My Lump of shit

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The Sounds of Paradise

Rip Mangle Pop
Sounds I like alot
The coffin shows rot
Snap Mangle Pop

Snap Mangle Plop
The body goes keplunk
Flipped from its resting spot
Rip Mangle Plop

Rip Mangle Pop
It’s time take the top
While weakened bones get bopped
Snap Mangle Pop

Rip Mangle Pop
The sounds I like alot
Old bones now show their rot
Rip Mangle Bop

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With apologies to Wordsworth

I wondered horny down Third Street
that crawls with freaks, trash and pills.
Then at one time I saw a herd,
a group of walking painted girls.
Beneath the moon and beside the street
Pandering and waving at male beasts.

A multitude parading by
trimmed out with lace and fluffy fur
That stretch to conceal nothing at all
along the nipples edge a blur.
Red fishnet stockings by the score
and feathered boas even more.

The johns beside them flashed cash
which brought sparkling smiles of glee
Aroused were they all by their wants
Be it sex or some money.
I gazed and gazed while some came by
In hopes they would catch my eye

For all on this street I move
the boas their throats do hide
I need to see Adams fruit
to know how much the costumes lie
To know if undies hide much more
For I have been down this road before

For oft when on my bed I lie
in twosomes or a larger group
I sometimes take honeyed guys
So long as they don’t dupe
Then my life with pleasures fill
For even males are painted girls

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Leave the Plunger

My Virginal Bride, once blood splattered sheets
Ignorant of fleshed fueled, dirty deeds

Accepting the role as teacher and guide
I”d pull her down hard this dangerous slide

We started slow- lotions, false pricks
then tried to act out wild fetish flicks

She took to my teachings quickly with zeal
All things perverse became her appeal

She soon became master when she brought home a goat
And let’s not discuss what she put down her throat

My body was punished in wild crazy forms
While twisting and implants became the norm

Each day she went further; I only knew dread
I was tired of chickens, living and dead

Ten different ways to use a vacuum?
But, Baby, please leave the plunger in bathroom

Please, baby, please, don’t do this thing
To hell what you read in that magazine

My body is racked by pain and by gloom
But, Baby, please leave the plunger in bathroom