Poetry From the Other End of Experience
A twelve inch snake he left for me
A twelve inch snake that could not see
It’s head stuck down inside that hole
With its tail was curved round the bowl
That twelve inch snake that could not bite
But with its stench was quite a fright
That twelve inch snake it sits there still
Despite the flush, despite the swirl
It gives no joy; It gives no glee
This twelve inch snake he left for me.
I apologize about the break. A few weeks ago, I received a request for tampons. not really sure why. I will post three. Please, chose your favorite
In my dates bathroom
Used tampons in his cab’net
I ran out quickly
Have you ever woke up naked next to a fish?
When you first met with it, what was your wish?
Did you bring it home to make the night’s dish?
What happened at night that your clothes you now miss?
In your missing memories, did you obtain bliss?
Or was it a mess that made a great squish?
Were others there present to steal a cod kiss?
Or were you alone naked next to a fish?
All folks standing in line
showing the world their troubles
all folks in the store line
seeking answers in their bundles
Old man standing in line
eight large jugs
he has to lug
Ashamed to tell his family
about his need for prune.
Blocked up, needs a cup
find relief or he can’t sup
You can see that he’s blocked up
I hope he gets to poo
Young man standing there in line
seven crates of eggs
He needs targets to hit
many a house to peg
Then after the hunt
He will empty out a keg
There’s a girl, pretty blond curls
queued to buy peanut butter
5 jars too much for me
Not too much for her
She had kibble, too
A pup at home or a few
What does that butter do?
What sins will then occur?
All folks standing in line
showing the world their troubles
all folks in the store line
seeking answers in their bundles
“The glory o f your grandma
The goodness of her soul
Get me some of those cookies.
I don’t want to keep control”
My friend would say these words
when he was with me there
That high caloric need
all teenagers must share
My sweet gray haired gran
did her cookies well
And had my friend arunning
when e’er her whiffed the smell
When I saw him last years ago
I will ne’er forget
When last I spoke after prom
and I caught him half undressed
I was at the dance before he showed
unknowing of his plan
I knew the girls in the school
did not think him much a man
He came in. I ran up,
“What the fuck is this about?”
“Don’t be a prude,” Granny said
as she kissed him on the mouth.
I ran into the bathroom fast
and those cookies all came up
A teacher heard emetic noise
and thought I drank too much
Given the bums rush into a room
with other would be drunks
I told them I was guiltless,
not like those other punks
Another teacher came in
and whispered to them all
After the laughter died one said,
“Your granny left the ball”
I left my date and quickly ran
to my sainted granny’s house
Unclothed they both opened the door.
She hugged that stinkin’ louse
“The glory of your grandma
The greatness of her hole
with the age of her cookies
I need no birth control.”
I barfed again then
punched my friend right in his rotten face
Granny stepped in between and
put me in my place
Since that day, where they are
I really don’t want to know
He can rot in hell for all I care.
I miss her cookies, though
Never the wet spot for me
Never check before I pee
No complaints about my family
Because
I have a righteous lover
I always eat where I chose
No complaints about my shoes
Understands my monthly blues
Because
I have a righteous lover
I do not need ‘A’ man
when triple A’s understand
I press its button when I can
Because
I have a righteous lover
I never put down the toilet seat
Never have to share when er’e I eat
She never complains when I cheat
I have the perfect woman
No matter what, she never calls the cops
Even with a right hook across the chops
Always ready when I want the top
I have the perfect woman
Never screams when I stay out late
Don’t need to worry about her weight
Just now and then I need to inflate
I have the perfect woman
Does no work- she’s just a lump
She sometimes need the tire pump
And lots of lube when we hump
I have a blow up woman
Word of note. This is my homage to tentacle hentai
My father taught me well
as he lecture me on life
He spoke of many things
on finding the right wife
“Don’t listen to their words
people will always lie.
She’ll tell you she is open
giving everything a a try.”
“Sure, she is very willing
to try shackles and whips,
Even hacking and smacking
or hot wax on the nips
“She’ll even shank before
the neighbors on your lawn
But you don’t know how far ’til
the octopus suits on.”
I was puzzled at first
not knowing what to think of this
Until a cartoon threw me one day
into the abyss
It came from Japan
claimed to be tentacle porn
Definitely not for the weak,
On this I’ll forewarn.
In horror I watched
a creature with multiple dongs
attack the drawn heroine
in ways really wrong.
Some slongs were like rope
that bound her real tight
While his strikes could continue
without much of a fight.
An alien? A mollusc?
I don’t really know
what appendaged thing
savaged all of her holes
I should have turned
but felt a sick need to keep watching
then after the scene
I felt the need to start washing
I never did ask my father
how he knew of this shit
or was it something left over
from his once Navy stint?
His words will stay in my head
though he is long gone
“But you don’t know how far ’til
the octopus suits on.”
My Virginal Bride, once blood splattered sheets
Ignorant of fleshed fueled, dirty deeds
Accepting the role as teacher and guide
I”d pull her down hard this dangerous slide
We started slow- lotions, false pricks
then tried to act out wild fetish flicks
She took to my teachings quickly with zeal
All things perverse became her appeal
She soon became master when she brought home a goat
And let’s not discuss what she put down her throat
My body was punished in wild crazy forms
While twisting and implants became the norm
Each day she went further; I only knew dread
I was tired of chickens, living and dead
Ten different ways to use a vacuum?
But, Baby, please leave the plunger in bathroom
Please, baby, please, don’t do this thing
To hell what you read in that magazine
My body is racked by pain and by gloom
But, Baby, please leave the plunger in bathroom
If you’re asked by a girl who comes up to you
what really she needs to make her toes curl
Tell her to see if bushed lipped men will do
Do try to find the mustache that yodels
For he goes yodeling, yodeling
down in the valley
That’s where the mustaches learn to strike true gold
Yodeling, yodeling
down in the valley
That kind of talent never gets old
To keep up appearances one must give way
to dine with clean cut, boring young men
Your parents are pleased, but at the end of the day
Do try to find the mustache that yodels
For he goes yodeling, yodeling
down in the valley
That’s where the mustaches learn to strike true gold
Yodeling, yodeling
down in the valley
That kind of talent never gets old
A clean shaven man can never do things
to tickle you right in the places that matter
To hit the high notes and hear yourself sing
Do try to find the mustache that yodels
For he goes yodeling, yodeling
down in the valley
That’s where the mustaches learn to strike true gold
Yodeling, yodeling
down in the valley
That kind of talent never gets old