“The glory o f your grandma
The goodness of her soul
Get me some of those cookies.
I don’t want to keep control”
My friend would say these words
when he was with me there
That high caloric need
all teenagers must share
My sweet gray haired gran
did her cookies well
And had my friend arunning
when e’er her whiffed the smell
When I saw him last years ago
I will ne’er forget
When last I spoke after prom
and I caught him half undressed
I was at the dance before he showed
unknowing of his plan
I knew the girls in the school
did not think him much a man
He came in. I ran up,
“What the fuck is this about?”
“Don’t be a prude,” Granny said
as she kissed him on the mouth.
I ran into the bathroom fast
and those cookies all came up
A teacher heard emetic noise
and thought I drank too much
Given the bums rush into a room
with other would be drunks
I told them I was guiltless,
not like those other punks
Another teacher came in
and whispered to them all
After the laughter died one said,
“Your granny left the ball”
I left my date and quickly ran
to my sainted granny’s house
Unclothed they both opened the door.
She hugged that stinkin’ louse
“The glory of your grandma
The greatness of her hole
with the age of her cookies
I need no birth control.”
I barfed again then
punched my friend right in his rotten face
Granny stepped in between and
put me in my place
Since that day, where they are
I really don’t want to know
He can rot in hell for all I care.
I miss her cookies, though