Gathered here on Turkey Day
Family here from far away
We won’t mention Joe’s conviction
as father prays benediction.
How can uncle be at large
with the gravity of that charge?
But it’s not me and for that I am grateful.
And there is sister Betty Lou
Whose love life is always a taboo
Beside her sits step brother Mitch
Whose life time partner is the biggest bitch
Aunt Fay, the dear, was in a crash.
And Bob was swindled out of his cash
But it’s not me and for that I am grateful.
Great Uncle Pat wears at his side
A colostomy bag worn cockeyed
So oozes brown and with foul smell
While 8 year old little grandson Mel
Is forced to endure the horrid stench
As he is made to share Pat’s stinky bench
But it’s not me and for that I am grateful.
Hoping this day will quickly pass
We pray while staring at poultry ass
For in the center of our great feast
is the traditional stuffed, roasted beast
celebrating this glad day spread wide
With non bird things crammed deep inside
But it’s not me and for that I am grateful.