The Ol’ Bidet

If tomorrow I occupy rooms
in countries not my own
And feel the need to eliminate
and sit upon the throne

In Western countries sink sits
beside the porcelain loo
A stand alone whose rapid flow
gives my bottom its just due

And I’m glad to have this wonderment
by which I know I’m clean
And I won’t forget to wipe it first
I’m proud of my hygiene
And I straddle well up over you
and spread it in my way
It changed my life, this warming stream
I love the ol’ bidet

In eastern lands the spout’s add on
No need to move your bum
Just push the buttons, feel the flow
washing off the scum

Back in the States there’re few streams
No buttons or a sink
I’ll call a plumber to install one
to wash my stink

And I’m glad to have this wonderment
by which I know I’m clean
And I won’t forget to wipe it first
I’m proud of my hygiene
And I straddle well up over you
and spread it in my way
It changed my life, this warming stream
I love the ol’ bidet