Big Joe had been in a slump, you see,
Three years the well’s been dry
He’d get girls out for a bite
And give it the old college try
They shot him down all the time
Put his manhood on the brink
Then Bob whispered in his ear,
“The fat girl’s on the sink.”
A myth passed among the men
A rare sight to behold
A straw grasped by blue-balled men
Needing some hope to hold
A wonder granted by the gods
Big Joe did thus think
To see his shining savior
The fat girl on the sink.
But deeds like this haunt a man
When his friends find out the truth
But how could they learn if noone sees
And he would leave no proof?
Desperate times mean desperate things
Though they may not be so chic
Determined was Joe to see it through
With the fat girl on the sink.
He went to the outside bathroom
The one out of the boss’ sight
Only to find a long line of others
Sharing in his plight
Too late! He was spotted!
And his resolve began to shrink
But the pain in his scrotum brought him back
To the fat girl on the sink
A man came through taking bets
On when the sink would break
A fiver got you in the pool
So Joe anted up his stake.
He wrote the name of a man in line
On paper and in ink
Though hoping all would be well
With the fat girl on the sink
His luck for once did hold out
He got to take his turn
He walked in the room
And started on his yearn
At first he had a hard time
His shaft was in a kink
But he wasn’t giving up
On the fat girl on the sink
He finally got things going
The action just seemed right
This jiggly angel sent from beyond
Was going to end his blight
He didn’t worry about the others
Or how much she now did stink
He manly needs called to him
For the fat girl on the sink
He was called Big Joe for good cause
The fixtures began to shake
But he did not notice, however,
As he exercised his snake
The pipes rattled, plastered cracked
All fell within a blink
He landed hard on top of her
The fat girl on the sink
He got up and ran outside
And asked, “Who drew my name?”
“It was Bob,” was the reply
His friend took advantage of his pain.
And yet he felt all was right
And turned to give the girl a wink
“Thank you, doll, I will never forget
My fat girl on the sink.”